If you’re shy, you can learn to get control over your shyness. An important step in learning to overcome shyness is to watch what sorts of messages you are giving yourself just as your self confidence starts to plummet and your self-consciousness starts to grow.
The reason it is important to notice your inner thoughts when you are feeling shy is because you will need to know and understand the negative messages that go through your mind. When you know what messages you are sending to your self, you can actually change them and learn how to get control over your shyness. You can learn to shift your mood from one that is extremely negative and fearful to one that is positive and relaxed. The messages that Critter control you send to yourself have a big effect on your self image and your internal sensations of confidence.
The next time you are in a situation where you start to feel shy and inadequate, stop and ask yourself what you messages you’re saying to yourself. I am not as cool as the other kids.” Or, “I am not as good looking as the other girls at this party.”
Deep inside, you are sending yourself some sort of very negative message about yourself, and then you are believing it and acting upon it. To get control over your shyness you need to bring these negative messages to the surface and analyze them in the light of day.
When you identify negative messages you have been telling yourself, you have to start examining them to find out what real evidence you have that they’re true. Whether the messages are true or not, you also need to ask yourself, “So what?”
For example, imagine that you’re saying to yourself, “I’m not as cool as the other kids; I shouldn’t be here.” It’s only a judgment. Who decides what is cool? Even if I don’t look as cool as some of the others, does that mean I should leave? Does that mean I ought to be miserable? Does that mean I don’t have a right to speak to other men and women? Can I only accept myself and look for men and women who will accept me too?”
The reason it is necessary to notice your internal messages is that all people have assumptions and beliefs that run our lives. In a lot of cases we aren’t even aware of the beliefs we have, but in some cases they have very negative effects on our lives. If you are presently residing in shyness and isolation because of some beliefs that you could actually challenge and change, this is fantastic news.
It means that you once you discover the underlying beliefs which make your shyness much more devastating than it has to be, you can start to change. You can begin challenging your negative beliefs that make you keep your shy behavior and you can start replacing them with positive beliefs that will let you be much more sociable and outgoing. You can get control over your shyness and finally start to have the social life you really want.